“It’s the only time of year when we are the majority and free of judgments of society.”

Their nights are processions of parties following their daily poolside meetings. Sexy and sophisticated, lipstick lesbians give free reign to their emotions and impulsions.

Leslie, the brunette, and Azure the red head met two years ago at a gay bar. Together they raise Azur’s child that she had through artificial insemination. They both dream of someday getting married to each other.

“Men often think that if we are lesbians, it’s because we have yet to have met them.”

“The last time that I slept with a man was three years ago, and I thought I was in bed with a lab dog. The words that the scene often evokes in me are: sweaty, hairy and grunting!” proclaims a blond in her bikini and base ball cap as she is waiting in line to enter the Windham Hotel of Palm Springs. A laugh precedes the declaration, and the pretty girl adds with eagerness: “Take note that I have nothing against men. I have a lot of male friends, but they are not made for me. I can’t help it, I only like beautiful women.”

We are in Cafornian soils, amongst warm smiles, bronzed bodies and easy connections. Beautiful girls are plenty this morning, pulling their luggage on wheels, hold their bags; they arrive from all corners of America, in shorts, or in bikinis, in thongs or in high heels, pale or tan, adorned with a flower scarf, a hat or cowboy hat, they have come to participate in the biggest assembly of lesbian in the world: The Dinah Shore Weekend at Palm Springs. The hotel looks as though under attack, the personnel are overwhelmed and there is not a single man in sight. “Well”, remarks again the blonde in an admiring tone, “we can say that we are the majority this year! Long live the lipsticks!”

The “lipstick lesbians” are the new face of gay women in the United States. More and more numbered, they make a declaration of their femininity and acknowledge only liking women that “look like women”. Affirming that beauty is not only party of heterosexuality, they are deductive to tips of their manicured toes. Lesbians that have always been historically less visible in society than the gay men have signed here an act of emancipation with no return. The times, where homosexuality of women was associated with hairy legs and “truckers”, seems to be finished. Today, with the lipsticks we are far from days of radicalism, of coded roles for passive girl-active girl and ultra masculine roles. This return to femininity is being lived by the greater majority like a wholesome and pure evolution in a process that does not separate them from the rest of the society. The reproduction of masculine codes that have been the running course until now, have according to them been the contributing cause to their marginalization.

No to uniforms

“I am well read on the former days of the lesbian generation”, explains Kate, a 25 year old from Missouri. “I know it is thanks to them that it is easier to be homosexual in the last 20 years. I feel far from them, I don’t want to parade my sexuality with a masculine look or a uniform. I don’t need to distinguish myself from the rest of the society because my sexuality is different. My appearance corresponds to my identity: I am proud of my feminity and I celebrate the beauty of women. At 18, I chopped all of my hair and started wearing trucker t-shirts. I needed to belong to a group, to be recognized by them. But I wasn’t comfortable, and I very quickly stopped. In one sense, it is harder to be a lipstick, because everyone (including other lesbians) takes you for a hetero. Happily, there is this gathering. Here, at least, it is clear that all women present are gay!” Kate looks towards the windows of her room and let out a cry: close three thousand women in bikinis around the pool and they plunge in one after another with an explosion of laughter. Intimidated, she tries on many different bikinis on her bed and she hesitates. “I’ve waited many days for this even. Back home, there in only one gay bar, and the women that frequent it look like men. They are not very nice to me and I’ve often been hurt by their comments: the hetro bar is at the city center.” There is a good internet site that gathers lesbians of the region, but I know the half the people and everyone has already slept with everyone. It is sometimes depressive and non-motivating.”

A few hours later, when we cross a new Kate, she is sitting by the water whispering in the ears of a tall and pale photographer from Seattle. They both have prudent smiles and eyes full of questions. Three days and three nights of partying and dancing await the 3,500 women that have come to Palm Springs. A show of thousands of girls that let loose happily and giddily. The couple holds each other by the waist kiss girls each other on the neck or smack on the lips. The hands disappear in the bathing suites, and plunge here and there discreetly. The gestures are tender, sensual, and almost innocent. They dance with enthusiasm and look at each other with lust. During these three days, they want to be themselves and live without the worry of how the rest of the society views them. “It is the only time of the year that we are the majority. These three days give us the strength and morale of the rest of the year that follows”, resounds a lounging brunette.

An orgy of half naked women gather around the water, most with pierced belly buttons, and alluring mini bikinis. This type of scene would entice any man, except that no man has a right to be around this pool. We think of the fox of “The Little Prince” of Saint-Exupery, who is happy that there are no shoes in his planet… before learning that there are also no chickens.

A group of very masculine women shake their heads in disapproval and one lashes out loud: But where are the lesbians?”, to the agreement of her entourage. In front of these lean and thing bodies, in provocative clothing, we can effectively ask ourselves in the evolution of the lipsticks has not evolved to resemble that of the gay men’s. Are they in search of pleasure? Are they merely consumers of casual encounters and connecting with just another beautiful body? Basically, no.

Narcissism and the worship of the body

For them, the emotional dimension of love rests fundamental and often precedes desire. On the other hand they have developed strong narcissistic qualities, like that of the gay man’s fetishism of the body. Much like them, narcissism is the underling base of the women’s relationship as well. Don’t we always search in others a part of ourselves?

The first night, a girl attracts all the eyes of the bystanders as she dances away like a queen. Her name is the Star, she is 26 years old and she looks a little like Nastassja Kinski. A little later she tells her story in a child like manner. She has always liked women and couldn’t understand how her parents were not able to see through it. She fell in love with your baby sitters, and subsequently with her teachers in school. She understood that she was a lesbian at the movies, watching “Basic Instinct”, as she very much wanted to get together with her girl friend sitting next to her. She likes boys a lot, but she is not attracted to them. She is a stripper in a military base in Missouri. She dances for the soldiers before they depart for Iraq. With men, it is too easy and they are so simple. With women, it is emotional and deliciously complicated. Star is often a heartbreaker, but in bed she is extremely tender… “comparing sexual relations with a man to relations with a woman, is like comparing apples and oranges.” Amber refreshes in the men’s bathroom, opens her makeup bag and explains: “Love with a woman builds slowly. It goes through friendship, completeness, ambiguity, desire, and the fear of ridicule. The bond is affective and intellectual before being physical. We understand each other in every way, we are the same. The sex is nothing but soft, sensual and beautiful. When a love story ends, it’s terrible, as we lose our lover and best friend simultaneously.”

The next day, under a blue sky, a group of women lying out by the water tell of their “first time” as they sip on their margaritas. The most talkative one is Jessica who tells her tale with eagerness. “I can’t tell of my first time without having butterflies in my stomach. My friend was terribly beautiful, we were 12 years old and we were taking a bath together. I went down on her. Today, she too is around this pool.

The origin of the lipsticks

Robin Gans and Sandy Sachs, the couple who organize this gathering every year, list to the anecdotes and secrets with rapture. They are at the origin of the flight the lipstick movement. It was in 1992 that they did their “coming out” in the “Los Angeles Times.” The declaration of these elegant and feminine women stirred a commotion in the United Stares. In a few months, they were invited to numerous television shows. “It was the first time that feminine gay women with a “normal appearance”, were on public platforms. We motivated thousands of women to do the same. It was a long time that the lipsticks did not acknowledge their sexuality and camouflaged themselves within the hetreros. Very often they came up to us and thanked us and requested for use to provide a space for them to come together. As a result we then opened the Girl Bar in Los Angeles and multiplied out television appearances”, remembers Robin a psychologist and a university professor.

“The fact that we are balanced and happy couple reassures a lot of parents”, adds Sandy. “A lot of them wrote to use that after hearing our story it was easier for them to accept the sexuality of their daughters”.  They stretch themselves out like kittens and hold each other’s had under the hot sun. They talk at the same time. And one finishes the sentence of the other. Their love affair of fifteen years has made them to similar.

“In the last ten years, it has been much easier to be a lesbian in the United States”, remarks Robin. “People look as us with curiosity when we hold hands, buts that’s all. The lipsticks do not have a movement or politics associated with them. They don’t feel the need to prove themselves and all they ask for is to be accepted for who they are. A new television series – “The L Word” – that depicts young lesbians in prime time television on Sundays since January has done a lot for us. “it’s out “Sex and the City”, except that is takes place in Los Angeles, and the girls sip organic tea!”

Sandy observes the crowd of girls that dance in the dream like state and murmurs: “It warms my heart to see the thousand of girls that have come here today. Each year they are more numbered and more beautiful. It is very frequent that the lipsticks seduce the heterosexual women looking for some different and new. Really, we are rapidly growing!”